The Anxious Author

What Do We Do At A Crossroads? – The Anxious Author

Nobody faces the grim reaper without having faced a crossroads or two in their lives. A choice which significantly changes our trajectory in the grand scheme. Of who we become and the memories we will make, not to mention whether or not our dreams will be accomplished. All of these sometimes hinge on one crucial decision.

No pressure, right?

I’m at a crossroads right now that is definitely a total life changer. Two paths to choose from and only one to walk. Me and my husband are moving out of the big city to a nice house in the countryside. That’s not the crossroads. We’ve made that choice and loved it from day one. The Big Smoke just isn’t for us anymore.

No, the real crossroads is about work. My company has workplaces up and down the country but because of the virus, I can’t move to another workplace. Which leaves me at the ultimate crossroads: do I reapply to my workplace after the move, or do I do what I’ve always wanted to do? Become a full-time author and forget working for somebody else, hopefully forever.

It’s the dream, right? To follow a passion, make a living from it and never have to answer to anyone but yourself ever again. So, here’s the dilemma. Do I take a gamble on one less income to make my dream a reality when there’s no guarantee I can make it work?

I’m going to pretend for a minute that we’re not talking about me, that we’re talking about some other person thinking of starting up a business in a difficult economic climate. The crossroads is the perfect time to ask ourselves the hard questions which can more or less be narrowed down to one: am I ready for this?

That’s a super broad question and is really comprised of a lot of smaller questions. Questions like: do I have the knowledge I need to make this a reality? Am I familiar enough with the industry? Am I at the correct skill level to make this a success? Do I have the foundations, the bare necessities in terms of finances and resources to support this endeavour?

I wish it stopped there, but there are plenty more to ask, most of them yes or no and all of which can later be put into a database for statistical analysis. (I might be taking this a tad too seriously but hey, it pays to be over-prepared).

These are the kind of shots you could think back on in twenty years and wish you’d taken. Maybe because it could have gotten you somewhere you wanted to be but never ended up. Or because it could have gotten you to where you wanted to be faster than you actually got there.

The problems that come with failing are usually financial but sometimes if we perceive ourselves to have failed, our self-esteem takes a critical hit. For anyone who has taken out a business loan or has their house on the line when it comes to their success, failure can be crippling. Hence the important “crossroads questions”.

Thankfully, I’m not likely to have either of these problems which makes the idea of full-time authoring even more appealing. I feel like I can answer the majority of these “crossroad questions” with an affirmative. Even if I don’t know exactly what I need to know this minute, I know how to get the answers I’m looking for.

We are still preparing for our move out of the city and still talking about what the future holds. But with a chance at my dream job on the horizon, I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited for the future.

So, what do we do when we’re standing at a crossroads in life? We ask ourselves the “crossroads questions”, all 11 million of them and we answer them honestly. We’re doing ourselves no favours if we lie to ourselves about our circumstances in order to start a journey we aren’t ready for.

One thing is for sure and that’s if we aren’t in the right place to take that leap of faith, we can get there. Even if it takes a little more time than we planned. Then maybe that crossroads won’t have two paths, it’ll just have the one path you’ve always wanted to tread.

Thanks for reading! Did you know I also write urban fantasy books? Check them out here!

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