I saw something on social media the other day that really resonated with me: “If you’ve never had concrete self-esteem, confidence looks like arrogance.”
This is a mindset I’ve tried to pick apart in the past few years because not all confident people are arrogant, but all arrogant people are confident. Arrogance is a pet peeve, and the last thing I want to do is act arrogant. This has, of course, led to a suppression of my own confidence, and that just isn’t a good habit to get into.
As children, if we’re surrounded by people who raise us up and empower us to reach for the stars, confidence comes a lot easier. That isn’t the case for everyone, and we struggle to remind ourselves that we are capable human beings. Our adulthoods are spent trying to foster a confidence that many people already have, while trying not to appear arrogant.
During the big moments in our lives when our performance determines whether or not we achieve something important to us, our confidence is a big factor. Even if we have a solid foundation of self-esteem, these times are testing, and sometimes anxiety-inducing.
Creating our own confidence is sometimes the only solution to getting through high-stakes situations successfully. It’s easier said than done, but if we draw from the examples of other people, we may just be able to do it.
Do you ever wonder how some people have as much confidence as they do? For example, those people on Twitter who try to explain concepts they know nothing about to actual experts in the field. Like that guy who tried to explain the plot of The Stand to Stephen King – where does that guy get the gall?
The answer is simple: blind faith in oneself. There’s only one way that anyone can think they are right in the face of being proven absolutely wrong, and that’s to completely abandon the idea that they could be incorrect. For people who are afraid of coming across as arrogant, this is a nerve-wracking prospect, but after a little practice, it can really work to our benefit.
This power of blind faith is often outrageously abused, but used correctly, it can help those of us who have less confidence than we should. Sometimes it helps to remember that, much like global wealth, confidence is afforded to those who need it the least. But it costs us nothing to abandon our anxieties in a brash action of blindly believing that we can do it, no matter what.
This week, I have been applying this strategy, and no, it doesn’t abolish anxieties. But it does give us a wave to ride and stop us from getting caught up in a whirlpool of self-doubt.
Lose your patience with your tendencies to think you aren’t capable. Even if you truly believe that you aren’t worthy of the confidence you need to jump your hurdles, incorporate some blind faith in yourself. Because the reality is probably, that you deserve far more confidence than you think you do.
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