I opened a brand new jar of Beanies white chocolate raspberry coffee this morning (not an affiliate, literally just love the stuff), and the smell of it threw me back in time. I only started drinking coffee in March 2020, when the UK first went into lockdown, so my only association with coffee is the pandemic. But I had my first cup of white chocolate raspberry very shortly after I became an author full-time. For months, it was virtually all I drank.
After deciding to experiment with other flavours, I had a hiatus from white chocolate raspberry. So when I opened up that new jar yesterday, I felt like a brand new author again, who hadn’t completed the first book in The Rogue Valkyrie series yet. An author who still had her first successful release week in front of her, who had rolled the dice on this opportunity, and had no idea if they would come up snake eyes.
Technically, I still don’t, but I’ve got a better idea of where I stand as an author these days. But this perfectly normal jar of coffee forcibly made me reflect on the last year, and how much things have changed.
Back at the beginning of this journey, everything excited me. The writing, the planning, the networking, and the feeling of control over my work environment. I had, after all, transitioned from a hectic, noisy, and exhausting supermarket job to a peaceful office that I could decorate how I liked and listen to what I wanted.
Once the novelty became normality, the stress began to set in, and the question of whether I could write quickly enough to release a book every three months hung over me. As it turns out, it’s an achievable feat, but until you do it, you’ll never know!
Weird as it sounds, the white chocolate raspberry coffee scent represents a time in which I was the most excited to become an author. The time when creating the books was my biggest concern, and everything else would come later, but it was all too far in the future to worry about then. A little pocket of time that is really unique and short-lived on this path. Because sure enough, release day always comes around eventually, and they aren’t the calmest of days.
When I was in the excitement phase of this journey, I really wanted it to end, because I felt like the excitement was the sign of my newness. In truth, it was, but I can look back on it now fondly, and wonder where on earth I’ll be in another year. Perhaps I will continue to look over my shoulder and enjoy the steps it took to get there in retrospect. And maybe it’ll happen when I open up another new jar of coffee.